Good Evening ~

Since my last post, there has been a great deal that has transpired along this trail we call the PCT; and now a clear moment for me to bring you up to speed with the events that have led to me being 1,100 miles into this adventure.  

As per my last post, I was awaiting a visit from Glen at the tail end of my time in Bishop, CA – healing the neck injury I sustained postholing down Forrester Pass.  Our time together was wonderful – and although brief, it gave us the time we needed to connect and spend some quality time together.  Glen left on June 18 to head back to Minnesota and I began my trek back over Kersarge Pass to get back to the PCT.  

Upon Glen’s return home, she and Sam have been staying busy with projects around the house.  Glen is feeling great about her new role with the college, and as expected, has jumped in with both feet and is moving along well.  Sam is already busy making new friends and helping around the house and working with Patty – our new little Havanese puppy dog – making sure to keep her in line. 

As for me, I am currently in South Lake Tahoe, CA – anticipating my return to the trail tomorrow morning to press on and make some big miles over the next several weeks – doing my best to beat the weather we know to expect in Washington.  Over the last week, we’ve encountered several thunderstorms with lightening, and up-to quarter/marble sized hail.  The weather conditions have been extremely odd this year, but I suppose it is to be expected, most specifically when you are outside for months at a time. 🙂

As this hike has unfolded over the last few months, there have been many challenges I’ve eluded too in some of my prior communications, but today – my hope is to give each of you a real perspective of what I have personally been struggling with despite the beauty that sits all around me – and to do so; I need to back up to the High Sierra’s, the very mountains I chose to tackle in a very short period of time in order to make-up the miles lost to my neck injury.

My time back in the High Sierra’s began after Glen’s visit and started wonderfully.  I was greeted by trail angels, Pablo and Tracy at the top of Kersarge Pass who were as kind and enjoyable to connect with before getting back into the grind, hiking over Glen Pass and camping by the beautiful Rae Lakes area.  As the next several days unfolded, my mileage picked up, the surrounding areas became more and more spectacular and arduous because of the shear elevation gain and loss.  I ran into several hikers on the JMT(John Muir Trail) and the PCT – none of which I knew personally, but whom I got to know over the next several days; one gentleman in particular, Matt Jenkins from Sacramento.  What Matt didn’t know is just how much I was struggling when I met him on top of Muir Pass; but after a day of hiking together, I was in a much better place because of our interactions and shared laughs over the course of the day.  Despite my good day with Matt, I spent the evening writing the the following journal entry:

An entry from my personal journal –   6-23-15 (Day-74) ~ [22.4mi] – 

“So, I think I have decided to head home after my arrival in Mammoth, CA tomorrow.  The trail has been amazing and very difficult all in the same.  But I know my heart, and I believe it to be in Minnesota with Glen and Sam.  Once I arrive I will make the appropriate calls and make my final decision.  This is a hard choice, but as I said, I believe it to be the right one.  ~ I passed the 1/3 completion sign today – while it felt good, it really didn’t even phase me.  I’ve spent so much time contemplating a decision to keep going, or get home to my sweeties – and the reality, I don’t know what the right decision is – I’m in constant pain, my feet are throbbing, my hips and lower back are being rubbed raw, my neck pain is still lingering, the folliculitis on my legs is unbearable and the Sierra’s are beating my body into a pulp.  All of these things, although physical, are weighing in heavily on the mental side- and when you compound all of this with my ‘heart’ beating in Minnesota, it’s easy to say… It is time; time for the adventure to begin in Minnesota, and time for me to be home with family and friends…  (Flashback to yesterday, 6/22) – as I was descending from Seldon Pass, I tripped and fell taking a hard hit to my shin just below my knee immediately bruising my hand, leg and cutting me up pretty good – (then fast-forward to tomorrow – 6-23) same incident descending Silver Pass where another fall; this time my right arm taking the blow – After I popped back up, I chatted with another hiker continuing our descent down this pass and was overtaken by the overwhelming feeling of being beaten down so much that leaving the trail feels like the best decision.  I wonder – was my heart ever truly in this hike? I’ve busted my butt, hiked up and down big mountains, through the heat, the cold, the rain and hail, through the hottest and driest sections, and now – it’s time to go home.  I say all this, without regret – but how do you say I’m sorry to all of the people watching this experience unfold, all of the people I am working hard to support that are faced with challenges much greater than the ones before me… I’m sure this answer will come with time…

I’m ready to go home – ”

As you can imagine; hiking a 20 mile/day pace for 6.5 days through some of the most grueling terrain we’ve seen, following 10 days of resting a major injury off trail was brutal.  As you can tell from the entry above,  I was in constant pain, and my mental state was deteriorating as each day passed.  Most of you may know how important it is to not make a hasty decision about getting off trail especially after a tough run at things – but I felt like I had spent enough time thinking about my decision and had made up my mind; I’d had enough, I’m heading home… 

But oh how things can quickly change… 

After several tearful conversations with Glen & Sam, my mom, fellow hikers and even some random strangers – a decision was made to keep moving forward, one-step-at-a-time.  Never have I ever had such a hard time and never did I ever expect to have as difficult a time as I was – and why?  

As I’ve discovered over the last several weeks; I believe my struggles are a culmination of several things – most specifically; mental fatigue brought on by the constant beating my body has endured along with missing my sweeties in Minnesota and my family and friends. I also believe that the transition of our normal lives, to the trail life, is an adjustment in and of itself – much like any challenging change or experience we undergo in our lives that leaves us feeling uncomfortable. 

While I am ready to be with Glen and Sam in Minnesota and begin building our life as a family, I am also aware that I simply cannot give-up on this experience, I must keep my forward progress and pull on my support group during the hardest of times to ensure my completion of this hike and to achieve the very goals I chose to set before myself by continuing to raise awareness and financial aid for A.L.S. and Mental Illness.  The best way I have learned to do this, is to share my experience through means of social media, more importantly, to take the time and connect with individuals I meet while I am in town and on-trail.  

As an example ~ Rob, Lisa and Braden – a family camping at the campground in South Lake Tahoe with 5 other families spending the summertime traveling around and enjoying the company of their friends – what is their significance to me? Well I ran into these fine folks while doing my laundry at the campground just yesterday and had the pleasure of spending two hours talking to them about my hike.  I feel fortunate each time I have an opportunity to talk with anyone about my experience, what it means to me, and how it has changed my life – and I am hopeful that it means as much to the individuals I get to speak with as much as it does to me.  These folks were so kind as to invite me back to join them for dinner last night, but I was up to my eyeballs in gear and resupplies that I was focused on getting together and drying before heading back out to the trail.  

(a special thanks to these wonderful individuals that listened to me blab for awhile, who gave me two beers and some quarters when I realized I had not started my dry cycle in the laundromat) 

In summary, it seems as though life throws challenging things at us everyday.  Sometimes these things push the envelope of comfort zones in our own lives; but as a wise man once told me – if we stay focused and work hard to consciously and consistently  move out of our comfort zone, and face these challenges head-on, we only become stronger and more confident as each day passes.  
What are you doing today to become comfortable with being uncomfortable? 
Casey ‘Aqua-Man’ Owen