The Bell Rock LightHouse ~ fixated off the coast of Angus, Scotland – remains to be the world’s oldest surviving sea-washed lighthouse.  The construction began in 1807 by Robert Stevenson and was completed in 1810.  This steadfast figure stands at 115 ft tall, and it’s light is visible from 35 statute miles inland.

When I came across this photo, I became fixated, realizing that this is a real representation of what life feels like some days.  Standing tall doing my very best to weather any storm trying not to get knocked to my knees, or worse, flat on my face.

Over the last couple of years, I’ve had some crippling moments, some ‘knock-you-down-so- hard-you’re-not-sure-you’ll-ever-be-able-to-get-up’ kind of experiences.  But – and this is the key – I made it through them all.  It would be amazing to say I made it through unscathed but I can assure you, I did not make it through without stumbling.  It was indeed a slow arduous crawl back to health. Feelings of inadequacy, failure, extrordinary pain and emotional turmoil plagued my head and my heart. Some days – believing that had I just died, this all would have been easier.  Isn’t it funny when we find ourselves amidst the most challenging things in life – it is easy to go there in our minds.  But the reality for me is, every challenge, every difficult situation I’ve found myself in during my 36 years – the most significant growth has come as a result of moving directly through the pain.  I had a tremendous amount of support and love, but no one could walk the path of recovery for me – that was a path I had to walk myself, and I did so as gracefully as I could.  And – here I sit, fully recovered reflecting on the experiences, the pain, the gruesome photos, all now, just a memory and a reminder – there is nothing I cannot do or accomplish one step at a time even when I doubt my own ability to do so.

I’ve heard a few quotes over the last few years of listening to motivational speakers that have inspired me and helped me to understand that when life pushes back or presents a challenge, or knocks the wind out of your sails, the best way to approach those moments is to walk right through them.  There is no climbing over, crawling under, going around or any other creative way to ‘dodge’ these moments – just a simple understanding that the only way is right through the damn middle of the fire.  If you try to avoid the path through the middle, these moments will inevitably find themselves back at the surface and you will be forced to contend with them at a later date, quite possibly without the tools and support you had at the time they surfaced.

Les Brown offers this, “Life is hard, but I have this saying, when life knocks you down, try to land on your back, because if you can look up, you can get up.”

A Japanese Proverb written as, “Fall down seven times, stand up eight.”

And another quote I ran across recently that also speaks to me, “You can’t fall if you don’t climb.  But there is no joy in living your whole life on the ground.

It is true that FEAR can paralyze the very fibers in our soul that desire living a fulfilling and abundant life – especially when they ground us and keep us from dreaming or spreading our wings to fly as high and far as we can.  I am reminded of this each day my hands run across the scars on my abdomen from my experience last year.  I refuse to let any more days move past me with any feelings of discontent or disenchantment in my head or heart.

Life is precious.  If we were all to experience a ‘near-death’ moment – maybe it would be the wake up the world needs.  I know this – Death is certain – so as I move through the days, its important for me to remember to live each day wholly, love with reckless abandon, to use my words carefully as no one will forget the last things I ever get to say, believe in myself and my abilities, give each day the best version of myself, to make a positive impact in at least one person’s life each day – and to continue to do the things in my life that I love, that feed my soul – and allow me the ability to grow more feathers to add to my wings – because I have to keep flying higher and higher.

While the waters and waves of life may be rough at times… there are also moments where the chaos and pain fall silent – and it is in these moments, I feel most alive because it is the reminder of what I have endured, that I did make it through and I am stronger as a result.